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Why Bother Let Me Loving if I am Controlled?

It's a waste of time. It just makes everything difficult. If my choice never matter, why bother asking my choice?

Should've just forsaken all the feelings. Less hurt, less struggle, just sheer loneliness. Should've just focus to the top, alone.

If all my choices doesn't truly matter, my deepest heart is not asked of, then just dictate. No need to sing a fantasy of me having a choice when there's no intent of letting me with whom I choose.

3 betrayals, 3 major events. Life is a funny thing. Normally, the saying goes if I had a nickel for every choice I made being overruled, the answer shouldn't exceed 2 nickels. Yet, I have 3 nickels.

My education, my work, my love. In the end, why bother saying what I want if it must fit your perfect frame? Just dictate me as you wish, without all the faux, without any pretense of loving me.

It's pointless.... 
Can I just die?

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