Daffa Abiyyu Blog

  "Ah sial, si Shaoji lagi memasak." "Siapa yang mengizinkan Shaoji memasak?" Tidak mudah membuat orang-orang mengingat seorang penulis kecuali karyanya berjejak. Menariknya, sangat banyak karya fiksi, tetapi hanya sedikit yang bisa diingat oleh orang-orang. Salah satu alasannya adalah karena cerita itu tidak memiliki nilai emosional yang kuat. Loh, kok bisa? Perhatikan bahwa kebanyakan naskah yang terkenal cenderung memiliki kekuatan emosional. Kekuatan ini salah satu nilai terbesar dalam membuat naskah penulis stand out dari jutaan naskah lainnya. Misal, naskah terkenal di dunia per-platform-an. Jika diperhatikan dengan baik, naskah-naskah tersebut cenderung bagus dalam memancing emosi pembaca. Permasalahannya, kenapa memancing emosional susah direplikasi oleh penulis? Karena ada kecenderungan untuk terjebak pada target, menarasikan latar, dan tetek bengek lainnya hingga perasaan tokoh terpukul ke belakang layar dan tidak menjadi konsentrasi utama. Sebenarnya, sem

  Bab 1: Melawan Tangan Takdir Pedang yang berselimut energi petir dan angin milik pria dengan penampilan wajah di usia 30-an itu sedang beradu kekuatan dengan pedang angin milik remaja pria berusia 16 tahun. Sang pria yang baru saja menumpahkan darah tujuh orang remaja, empat pria dan tiga wanita, dan remaja di depannya ini sedang melindungi dua teman wanitanya yang terluka, tetapi masih hidup. Pakaian pria penyerang itu bersimbah darah. Pakaian kemeja berwarna hitam dengan laba-laba merah itu sekarang lebih banyak merah dibanding hitamnya, terbalik dari momen awal dia menyerang. Tidak satu patah kata pun terlontar dari mulutnya selain mantra serangan selama pertarungan, menciptakan kesan haus darah dan misterius dari kehadirannya. Sementara sang remaja pria mengenakan sebuah jaket hijau dengan kemeja putih di dalamnya itu juga lumayan berdarah dari beberapa tebasan pria yang menyerang dirinya dan teman-temannya. Bahkan, pria itu berada di ujung kesadarannya. Dia sudah beberapa

It is suffocating. It is suffocating. Feels very numbing when I had to abandon my desires. Enforced, thrust with this forced mission upon me to embrace the sins I have committed.  Well, it matters not in the long run. I already lost the battle, and soon the entire war itself. Let the reality sink in a despair horizon, as the skies shade darkens with the season changing. For I even lost myself, neglect the personal desires I held within me. For a father whom had no understanding of what I bury beneath the mask. For a mother whom enforced into struggle cause of mine fault. For a younger brother who felt I am disappointment of a big brother. For I am nothing more than sheer disgrace. For I should just abandon myself, mask myself in the darkness beneath. I hold ill to everything, but nothing will care. Perhaps, a stain red is an answer to everything. 

It is weird, when you thought the chessmasters might be not truly the masters of the game. An act of greed, while the best case will be a beneficial move, is laid bare trap when beyond a normal perception of chess. They call it the Xanatos Speed Chess, where the actor knows how to adapt at an extremely pinpoint level to the point of shrewd manipulation. Even with internal breakdowns, distrust from within, if they so desire to win the game behind the game, can they play in an epic proportion beyond perceptible capability. No matter what the end result of this game, they will be victorious. The only question is to what degree, nothing more. They will win, even if it appears to be impossible odds stacked. Perfect planning, adjusted to every scenario.  Now, is that what they truly play to destroy the chessmaster in a dangerous gambit, probably even a Xanatos Gambit and not a Speed Chess, or are they just a shadow of their former self?

"The paradise may be beyond my reach." "Savor it for me." -Blade, Honkai Star Rail A word stated by a fictional character that for some reason weirdly resonates with me. For his case, it is the fact that the character cannot die thus cannot pass to the next life, hence "the paradise" being out of his reach. For my case, it is more along the lines of there are things that feels out of reach. Slowly, I think I should try to think of the things that I feel out of reach in a way these two quotes are written. Trying to help other attaining their dreams that I feel out of reach. Taking the joy of seeing other success and discard the winds of envy that keeps hounding me. Trying to accept what is out of reach and take focus on what can be reached. I know it is not the intention of these quotes, however, taking a word and getting positive contexts out of it is weirdly something I sometimes do. This is just one of them.

 After one talk with a someone whom I used to hold a feeling for, I come to a weird realization that my love life has been one giant ball of an experience bag with lots of mess and seems to be one of the few things that encircles me in the past instead of moving forward. The other thing on that encircling is the deeply rooted masked emotions in my soul, which some of it has been written in previous diaries. It's weird, there's content, yet the feeling of helplessness is also heavily present. The conclusion that I might be stuck in this rotten circle is a helpless realization that I am somewhat content with. For once, I am considering reviewing all my love life as much as possible out of it. Oftentimes, it's just overthinking on my end, but let's get started. First of all, DE is the first name on the list. A friend in early junior high. After all these years, I still cannot forget this name when talking of my love life history. Probably since this one has the most terrib

"Pendidikan untuk semua orang." "Pendidikan seharusnya gratis!" "Pendidikan seharusnya bisa diakses semua kalangan!" Ya, satu sisi idealisme yang berteriak kala menyaksikan susahnya golongan tengah ke bawah mengakses pendidikan. Tidak salah berpikir idealis demikian. Toh, nyatanya ada negara yang bisa mewujudkannya (dengan sebuah TAPI yang besar). Di sisi lain, realitanya adalah harga pendidikan tidak murah. Sistem kapitalisme telah merambah ke akar pendidikan, membuat setiap jenjang bukanlah hal yang mudah diakses oleh sebagian golongan. Suatu permasalahan yang sekilas harusnya beres karena UU menjamin pendidikan yang layak.  Hanya saja, rumitnya bukan di sana semata. Pendidikan gratis maupun berbayar menghadirkan sebuah konondrum yang rumit kala diperhatikan dengan jeli. Tidak perlu jauh-jauh. Banyak sekali sekarang pendidikan untuk sebagian keilmuan bisa diakses dengan mudah bahkan tanpa merogoh kocek sedikit pun. Nyatanya, banyak yang menganggap remeh-